Climbing the Mountain (Literally)

Last weekend I climbed a mountain.

It was a planned expedition—as much as you can plan anything in Peru. We had a destination (sort of), and a map (kind of), and an idea of when we’d get there (vaguely).

This lack of concrete scheduling is very counterintuitive to my detail-oriented personality. But after stress eating for the first three weeks I was in-country, I realized I’d either have to go with the flow or risk diabetes.

So the patiperros in my life got together and hailed a sleek car service outside an old theater in Lima. We drove for three hours through the capital’s Friday night traffic. Unlike NYC (or D.C. or SF or…) cab rides here are incredibly inexpensive. I plunked down 9 soles—the equivalent of about $3—at the end of the trip.

Upon arrival at our destination I was immediately ejected from the vehicle and sucked into the swirl of lightssoundssmells that consumes Chosica every weekend. Chosica is a tourist town, a place Limeños go when the doom and gloom of the capital gets on their nerves. With this influx of out-of-towners, everything is pretty big and bright for a mountain town.

There was a fair in the main square, and blinking, raucus rides flung screaming children in all directions. Along the park, vendors sold anticuchos de corazon (skewered cow hearts) dripping with oil, pollo y papas (chicken and potatoes) and Turrón de Doña Pepa (a pastry topped with candies).

hiking, mountain climbing

For the first hour, we veered away from one commotion only to throw ourselves at another. Along the way, the patiperros picked up fresh cheese, avocado, anticuchos, two bottles of pisco too many and a $1 chicken sandwich. Satisfied, and praying to The God of Food Poisoning for mercy, we made our way to Chosica’s bus “terminal”—a shed just a few blocks from the park.

That night, we had to take a 2-hour bus ride to a much smaller town called San Mateo. The plan was to grab a hotel room and sleep for a bit before our crack-of-dawn jaunt into the wilderness. Reaching San Mateo before bed would also give us a few, precious hours to pay our respects to The God of Altitude. Acclimating to the new, much higher, elevation is important. Altitude sickness is a thing—and it’s a bitch.

So when we made it to the terminal, we were ready to get on the road. But there was no bus. I mean, there might be a bus, we were told. About 30-something people were waiting in line, convinced this bus would appear. They’d been waiting for more than an hour for their chosen mode of transportation to materialize.

Since the patiperros and I weren’t on good terms with The God of Late Transporation (there must be one, right??), we had to slightly alter The Plan.

Now, when I’m having a one-on-one conversation, I can understand Spanish. I won’t profess to know everysinglelittledetail, but I get the gist of the conversation. Add hunger, lights, loud noises and sleep deprivation to the mix, and I don’t even try anymore. At that point, my brain barely responds to English.

So I stood on the side of the road in a city whose name I kept forgetting and dodged cars and foot traffic while waiting for the patiperros—who were chattering away in a mixture of Spanish and Polish—to come to a decision about where/when/if we’d be sleeping.

People generally panic when everything is out of their control. Their cortisol levels rise to an uncomfortable level, their palms get sweaty, and their stomachs churn. But this is Peru. Maybe Plan ABCDEFG didn’t work out, but there’s always Plan H. The same “flexibility” that spirited away our bus also provides plenty of other workarounds.

mountain view

We ended up bunking with a friend of a friend for the night and heading off early in the morning for San Mateo. In San Mateo we bought mountain bread (it’s a thing!) and water and found a cab willing to drop us off in the middle of nowhere.

There were sheep and cows and women tending to a shrine. After realizing no one in our group had cell phone reception, the cab pulled away, and I climbed a freaking mountain.

It actually wouldn’t be so impressive if it wasn’t for the fact that this mountain was almost 15,000 feet (4,500 meters) above sea level at the base. This means there were very few oxygen molecules getting to my li’l cranium. The mountain danced around a LOT during our five-hour trek (less mamba, more waltzy).

There was wind and rain and hail. I not-so-melodramatically thought I was going to die on several occasions, or at least dizzily stumble off said mountain and break a few bones.

The patiperros were hunting for a lake at the top of the mountain, said to have gorgeous vistas. At hour three we figured we were getting close. Halfway through hour four, we knew it was just over the next ridge. By hour five, the sun was beginning to set, and we called it. We’d conquer just ONE more ridge, and then we’d start the two-hour hike down.

In case you were keeping track, we’re now on Plan Q.

We never found the lake, but I climbed to the very top of that mountain, and despite the lack of oxygen (or maybe because of it) felt oh-so alive.

mountain climbing, peru

Top 10 Things to do in Bogotá, Colombia

Just got back from a reporting trip in Colombia. In no particular order, here’s my recommendation for the best time in Bogotá. Big thanks to my oh-so fabulous friend Claudia for showing me around!
Candelaria: It’s a Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood 
It was supposed to rain. Every day my weather app forecast gray gloom with cheery, little cloud icons, but buena suerte was on my side. Sun prevailed. I toured around La Candelaria for several days. The harsh equatorial light (wear sunscreen, gringos!) spotlit the neighborhood’s brilliantly colored houses. The effect was stunning. It quickly became my favorite place in Bogotá. Relax in a cafe and sip some of Colombia’s absolutelyridiculouslydelicious coffee.
candelaria, bogota, colombia
Museo del Oro: It’s Not About the Money, Money
In Peru, I’m not much of a museum person. The exhibits here have a very scrapbook-like quality to them, and I’m never quite sure whether I can trust the “facts” they tout. But Bogotá’s gold museum is stunning. Get to the museum first thing in the morning and leave a few hours to explore its four floors. There’s a restaurant connected to the ground floor that’s a great place for lunch. Save room for dessert, and make sure to order jugo!
gold museum, museo del oro, bogota, colombia
Museo de Botero: Go Big or Go Home
No trip to Bogotá is complete without seeing Fernando Botero‘s work in person. Don’t forget to snap the required Instagram photo with the huge, iconic hand just outside the courtyard.
botero, mona lisa, bogota, colombia
Monserrate: High on a Mountaintop
Take the tram to the top of Bogotá’s towering landmark. The altitude up there is drastically different so go slow. Monserrate comes complete with a market, souvenir shops, quaint church and, of course, gorgeous view. There’s also a little, rather romantic restaurant at the top of the mountain, but be cautious. If you’re going to eat there, don’t take any valuables. Thieves know police cannot respond quickly to thefts at that location, and according to a friend, robberies are common.
monserrate, bogota, colombia
Torre Colpatria: I’m on Top of the World, Yeah
This tower is the tallest building in Bogotá. Take the elevator up right before sunset for some great city pics.
 Torre Colpatria, bogota, colombia
Catedral de Sal, Zipaquirá: Workin’ for a Livin’
The Zipaquirá salt cathedral is a day trip outside the city, but you should definitely go and take the tour. They also let you mine your own salt!
 Salt Cathedral, Zipaquirá, salt mine
Andres Carne De Res: Shake Yo Moneymaker
Andres Carne De Res is a magnificent restaurant that turns into a dance party come nightfall! Don’t miss it. Make a reservation, and go with friends.
andres, bogota, colombia
La Puerta Falsa: Chocolate is a Girl’s Best Friend
I suggest the restaurant La Puerta Falsa, which has a very impressive list of historical patrons and is also loved by locals! They have a version of hot chocolate with melted cheese inside. Do it.
food, bogota, colombia
Plaza de Bolivar: Why is there a llama?
Buy a bag of seeds from the local and be a bird lady for the afternoon.
 Plaza de bolivar, bogota, colombia
Mercado de Pulgas: Shop Till You Drop
Crafts and jewelry and food! The mercado is a great place to stroll around and shop for family.
mercado de pulgas, bogota, colombia

Simple Soul-utions

machu picchu

 

Don’t fall asleep on the ride back from Machu Picchu.

It’s more challenging than it sounds. You’ve spent hours absorbing memories, trying to hold onto everysinglelittle wisp of cloud, crumbling cornerstone and curious llama. At day’s end you sink into the hollow of your seat, like a soggy cookie plunging toward the bottom of a tea cup. It’s easy to succumb to the lull of train travel.

Refuse.

With my family curled up under the last rays of sun, lulled by Andean musak on the loudspeakers, I forced myself awake. awake. AWAKE.

Worth it.